As mentioned in the last update, the album is mostly written, the music is mostly done, but I haven’t recorded it. I suppose I own an explanation for that…there is a lot of other stuff going on in my life at the moment that I consider more important, and music has been pushed to the back burner out of necessity. More to the point, I haven’t felt like recording — something about the rural New Hampshire town where I’m currently working doesn’t do much to inspire my hip-hop sensibilities — and I have learned that forcing myself to do music-related things when the feeling isn’t there ends up in crap.

I know some people want the album and I apologize for making you wait indefinitely, but I think it’s better to put out something thats actually good than it would be to just release some half-assed garbage.

For those who haven’t gathered, my other blog is getting a bit more attention than this one these days, mostly because there are actually people reading that one. But the album lives on, I wrote a bit more of it today and have another beat I’m pretty excited about.

Some things are too good not to share. This has nothing to do with China, but it does have to do with hip-hop.

Young people, read this for its sheer hilarity value.

Old people, read this as an example of what never to do when trying to appeal to young people.

There’s just too much good stuff in the article to even quote it, just go read the whole thing for yourself, it’s well worth it.

…about not posting again before I got back to Harbin. Picking up where we left off…

The nightmarket in Kaifeng was nothing to write home about, which is odd because Lonely Planet was very excited about it. My guess is that it’s more active in the summer and generally anytime it isn’t snowing, but still, disappointing. I did get some kind of fried egg thing, though, so I didn’t have to go to KFC again.

Yesterday, I got up, checked out of my crap hotel, and headed back to Zhengzhou, my present location, by way of bus and a couple cabs. The hotel in Zhengzhou is nice, although it occured to me last night that my idea of “nice” is pretty forgiving. Does the room have hot water? A shower? A toilet? As long as it does and there aren’t also strangers living in it, it’s nice, despite evident burn marks on the wall and my realization that the facilities I’m so impressed by come standard at Motel 6. Anyway, I’m enjoying it.

I took a shower (crap hotel in Kaifeng had no shower facilities), a nap, and then set out in search of a supermarket or convenience store, a search that was doomed to failure. It was also raining so, sans umbrella, I gave up after a while and went back to my room, where I took a bath (why not) and watched some Chinese TV shows (including one apparently filmed in Harbin) and a dubbed version of Antoine Fisher on TV (surprisingly, pretty good. I’ve never seen it in English, but it seems like the sort of movie you’d think wouldn’t work well dubbed into a different language).

This morning I was woken by the “bells” (i.e. tape recorded) in the nearby pagoda blaring the refrain of a classic patriotic tune before announcing that it was 9:00. I caught a bit of another movie on TV (some movie where Leonardo DiCaprio lies a lot?), then headed out to the Henan Provincial Museum.

Like the Shanxi History Museum, it was surprisingly free, but the reason appears to be that most of the exhibits are currently closed. There were basically only two rooms to explore, but luckily, there was some pretty amazing stuff in those rooms. I did indeed see some oracle bones (cracked turtle shells that contain the first traces of writing, some 9000 years old), Shang dynasty bronzes and pottery (if you think Ming vases are valuable, try the ones that are 4000 years older), and some pretty intricate jade carving, as well as some pieces from tombs I studied in school. Unfortunately, since there were only two rooms, that took less than an hour. My flight doesn’t leave till Sunday and I’ve now basically seen everything I wanted to see.

I went back to the hotel and, after inquiring at the front desk, found a supermarket that will provide me with delicious foodstuffs later tonight. Having found it, I wandered east in the direction of a Daoist temple (Ming dynasty, reconstructed), and found it a half hour later.

It was small, and generally pretty unremarkable save the curator who wanted me to give him 400 RMB for him to give to “the gods” to ensure my good health. Needless to say, I declined, noting that if I were concerned for my health I’d see a doctor, and reflecting that it’s really no wonder the CCP has taken the attitude it has toward religion. People like to talk about how they are threatened by it — threatened by any large organization that might rival them — and there may be some truth to that, but that sort of “religion” (giving money for health/whatever) is common in folk religions/daoism and some kinds of Buddhism as well. It strikes me as not particularly good for “the people”. On the sheet the guy was trying to get me to sign, there were lots of other names with large sums next to them, 600 RMB, 800 RMB. These are huge sums for the average Chinese person, and since most wealthy Chinese don’t believe in that kind of “superstition”, I suspect most of those donations were made by lower class people who could be spending that money on their kids or something.

Of course, in America, people have the freedom to throw their money away on religious nonsense, as they do in China. Still, it’s not that difficult to understand why the Party would be opposed to it for legitimate reasons having to do with the welfare of the people. Not everything they do is self-servingly evil.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure Laozi, Zhuangzi, the Buddha, etc., would not approve of this sort of “worship” (or any kind for that matter), just as Jesus would probably balk at many of the things done in his name. Once again, we see that people are the same everywhere.

MASS TRANSPORTATION STATS:
Planes taken: 1
Buses taken: 14
Trains taken: 1
Cabs taken: 23
Private vehicles taken: 3

Well, we’ve come this far. Here’s hoping we can keep going.

AMERICAN EXPATRIATE: WHAT IS THIS?

What is American Expatriate?
American Expatriate is a multimedia project created by rapper/producer Sun Zoo that explores the experiences of an American Expat living in China. This blog, through text and video, chronicles Sun Zoo’s travels and experiences in China, as well as tracks his progress in creating the full-length hip-hop concept album that is to be the final product of this project.

The album American Expatriate will be a fictional account of the experiences of an expat living in China. It will explore a variety of issues from the personal to the political, and will be composed in its entirety–from writing to music–by Sun Zoo alone.

The blog and video entries are meant as supplemental offerings that will complement and enhance listeners’ understanding of the album but are in no means required for its enjoyment. Unlike the album, many blog entires will not be fictional, but rather biographical–Sun Zoo really is an English teacher living in China, and his experiences there will be recorded in this blog. There may also be some short fiction pieces posted as well; these will be noted as such.

As an aspiring (if untrained and unskilled) videographer, Sun Zoo will also attempt to capture expatriate life in China through the lens in a variety of ways, including short musical vignettes, interviews with Chinese citizens and Western expats alike about music, love, and life in the 5000-year-old Middle Kingdom.

Why this topic?
As a student of Chinese language, philosophy, and history, aspects of Sun Zoo’s academic life have always crept into his music (the very name itself was originally derived from the famous martial philosopher 孙子). After graduating from Brown University in the spring of 2008, Sun Zoo took a job teaching English in Harbin, China. Having always wanted to write a concept album anyway, this seemed the perfect opportunity to merge his passion for Chinese language and culture with his passion for creating original, creative hip-hop music. Sun Zoo is also an amateur writer and videographer, and so decided to introduce blogging and short video production to create a multimedia project that builds on itself until the eventual release of the album American Expatriate.

His hope is that this project will give fans, friends, and family reasons to keep coming back to this site as the album is being created. Those interested purely in the music are free to ignore it, but anyone wishing for a deeper immersion in the material should hopefully find some satisfaction here.

I just found this site, but I don’t feel like reading all the backlog. How can I catch up?
Just read the best posts. They are collected in the Best Post category, which is linked in the menu on the left (or just click right here).

What else is Sun Zoo working on?
In addition to American Expatriate, Sun Zoo is working on the following music projects:

Untitled Solo Project – Coming TBA 2009: A full-length regular album that will be available for free on sun-zoo.com, ideally released around the same time as American Expatriate.

Untitled Project with Sarah Clark – Coming TBA: A full-length album with singer/songwriter Sarah Clark. Details on when it will be released, what label it will be released on, and how it will be available all TBA.

How can I find out more?
If you have any questions, from press inquiries to random ponderings, please address them directly to Sun Zoo at sunzoo@sun-zoo.com.

As Sun Zoo currently resides in China, we regret that Sun Zoo is not generally available for US bookings at this time. For inquiries of that nature, please contact Veggie Co Records representative Eric Jainchill. For booking inquiries in mainland China, please contact Sun Zoo directly.

INTRODUCTION

Hope cannot be said to exist, nor can it be said not to exist. It is just like roads on the earth. Originally, the earth had no roads, but when many men pass the same way, a road is made.

MORNING AFTER

Brush the hair out of your face, and let me see your eyes
So many swirling colors whirling in that beautiful disguise
That I could never see the truth so I could never be surprised
Whatever future we could have here will not be realized
Eventually, but sometimes it seems like you don’t even try
No need to cry, no need to vent whatever’s deep inside
So every day we’re redesigned and every day we’re redefined
And today could be just fine but you’ll be leaving down the line
So we’re creeping through this time like it’s nothing
A game of Russian roulette, waiting for that moment of combustion
Never knowing if its coming or not
All I can ever do is sit here holding my spot (so, holding nothing)
Yeah, it’s pretty poetry to say ‘live for the moment’
But I’m guessing those philosophers have probably never known it
I’ll tell you, that shit sucks from the start
‘Cause it’s just waiting for destruction to start
Sitting on the bed, staring at your face,
Thinking whether there’s some love or it’s just barren in this place
‘Cause I could keep this up, but it ain’t love when we embrace
and if we’re lovers without love then all this loving shit is fake
but, these are just thoughts, the situation’s complex
Plus I know (heh) you were never looking for a project
So I’ll be honest, my mind is far from made up
I just watch the sun stroke your face and wait for you to wake up

HOOK
I’ve been secretly falling apart, unseen…
Oh, I’ve been secretly falling apart, unseen…
Oh, I’ve been secretly falling apart, unseen…
Oh, I’ve been secretly falling apart, unseen…

Every morning as I get out of bed
I see that look on your face and catch a second of dread
But this is beautiful, right up to the moment it gets ruined
Have to ask myself, do I truly know what I am doing?

Well, I guess not, fell asleep again and reawoke
To find you gone, left this morn, shit, before we even spoke
Didn’t leave a note, didn’t leave a trace
Just left me with these fucked up thoughts and the image of your face
I guess I feel like blaming you’s a natural reaction
But you told me all of this stuff before we got to passion
Lying naked on the bed, I still don’t really know what happened
But the blame is all mine—I guess I’m making it a habit
Sex is concrete, feelings are abstract,
So sex is easier, of course we can have that
But it’s never just that’s that,
All I gotta do is think of you, I get a million things to flash back
And I claim I was never looking for this
But I knew what you offered and I take what you give
So…what if the problem’s really mine
I’m finding girls for non-relationships ‘cause I’m afraid of one more time
To get rejected, or end up being the one who wrecks it
Maybe I’m seeking this way because at least I know the ending
Just pretending you don’t want it’s an excuse
And fits right in with my psychosis even if it is the truth

HOOK

Every morning as I get out of bed
I see that look on your face and catch a second of dread
But this is beautiful, right up to the moment it gets ruined
I can’t blame you when I always knew what I was doing

And I can see from that look in your eyes I’m not the only one feeling alone
So maybe I’ll be consoled by the time that we fold that you might ever think of me when you’re gone

THINGS DON’T CHANGE (feat. Sarah Clark)

I can’t remember her name, it was such a long time ago
and we were young, still kids just trying to grow
homework and recess with time to blow
to tell the truth, them middle school days were kinda slow

and the right kind of clothes, I didn’t have them
I’d look at my pants some days and wonder what was gonna happen
and who would be the first kid to come asking,
laughing, if i was trying to start a new fashion

I wouldn’t have it, knew that I couldn’t be cool
but if I was a loser I couldn’t put up with school
I knew of a loser, knew of a couple in fact
but one girl really always seemed to suffer attacks

I didn’t know much, but knew I didn’t want to be that
kids used to laugh at her, mocking her blubbery fat
how every day in gym class she would run in the back
all by herself, her eyes tearing up on the track

I didn’t really know her, but they said she was lame
and they turned mocking her to an event or a game
i just want them to remember my name, and shit,
most of the time they don’t really care whatever I say

but if I called her ugly, called her stupid, or fat
then looked at them hopefully they would usually laugh
she would sigh quiet, put her eyes down and walk away
and i would sigh quiet knowing they’d be off me for the day

distracted by abusing her, mocking her, using her, laughing behind her back
and in her face, she never minded that
at least she was always quiet and polite
probably thought sooner or later we’d have to see the light

but we never did, I left after the eighth grade
and the three years I knew her all treated her the same way
Ostracized with no friends for no reason
the one target, the 24-7 open season

And I don’t know how it turned out, maybe she’s fine
brushed it off and created a life
or maybe she’s depressed, or maybe she’s dead
I don’t know, and I don’t see the point of taking a guess

Cause in my head, she’s still that little girl
with tears inside, pleading with kids to give her a try
had to be lonely, but nobody would know
because we treated her like we didn’t know she had a soul.

CHORUS:
(Sun Zoo)
I try and I try but no matter what I say
The best thing I ever get is if you just walk away
Can’t escape, I’ll probably be here forever
Staving off your abuse ‘cause you think that you’re better
Well, maybe you are, and maybe I’m weak
Doing the same thing wondering what it takes you to see
That this isn’t me, I’m just looking for a friend
Just wishing, ‘cause nothing’s gonna change in the end

(Sarah)
If things don’t change
If I can’t escape
If this is how I was made
Are you better than me?
It doesn’t make any sense
You won’t let it rest
Every day I wait
No, things don’t change

BREAK

VERSE 2 (Sarah):
I feel bad,
For all that you have
You’re still smokin’, still drugged
Short skirts but no love

I can see,
Your problem with me
Don’t change a thing
Don’t make you happy

Fools—you don’t know my name
Don’t see my face
You act better than me

I keep
My head strong-
My mama don’t lie and mama says you’re wrong

CHORUS
BREAK
CHORUS

A DAY ON THE TRAIN

Sunrise from a train window, Dads, mothers, daughters waking slow
Then they face the path, rub the night out of their eyes just watching
while a whole world races past
just a temporary flicker, got no time to even take a picture
as the mountains fade away and disappear without a whisper
and you could be convinced for a second that it’s fake
it looks weird when the inside of the train never change
and I’ve been sitting in the same place
staring out the window with a blank face trying to get this thing straight
watching the landscape morph into a new one
I’ve seen mountains rise and fall all in my view from
This little window…tiny little seat, little car, little train, big world, little me
It gets to be paralyzing, I heard that you could switch seats
But on that whole trip I never tried it
So I ride and observe it like the weather
Taking pictures in my mind and hoping someday I’ll remember
Wheels turn, eventually things change for the better
But nothing ever changes for the people in the center

HOOK:
Does a leaf fall from a tree or does it fly to the ground?
Well, for me there’s been times in this life that I’ve found
That it falls or it flies though the light and the sound
Are the same, it can change as your place moves around
….and if you come from the sky looking down
Then it falls
…if you come from the ground looking up
Then it flies
If you come from the side looking straight
Then it tries to fly, stops, and falls right into place

Sunset from a train window, shacks fields and mountains framed in gold

Then encased in glass, and frozen in time, always
While they stay we pass
And I speak slow ‘cause my thoughts are fast
Poetry flows over me but not to last
Knowing attempts to record it would distort it
I considered for a minute, then aborted
So I…let it ride, I don’t bother with erasers
this time, keep my eyes wide open, only savor
while I fly by, catch what I can, leave what I don’t
it’s true I could return but I believe that I won’t
except for the frame, it’s never the same
ironic that muddy plexiglass is guarding this inevitable change
But moving so fast, it really all stays the same
I just blow past
But you already know that

HOOK

SUIBIAN

Sometimes life is good and it don’t matter why,
You wanna jump up and tap the sky
Yo, it’s your life, you don’t have to ask for time
随便, do what makes you satisfied

Now suibian is Chinese, or more specifically Mandarin
It can mean casual, informal, or random and
Do what you like, latter’s the one that I’m channeling
And Pace made the beat from a Dear Havanah sample then

Sent it to me like, here, do what you like
I made it fuel for the mic to bring some beauty to life
And fluidly write the sky when it’s blue and it’s bright
Paint the starshine on the most luminous night
It’s like, some days I feel like I’m in love
Some days I feel like I’m on drugs (ha ha)
Speaking gibberish, forever trying to make it sound literate,
It’s hit-or-miss, but if you know the feeling then you feeling it
So put your drinks up, I’ma gulp mine down
And ride around bumping this shit loud through my town
No need to plan or take time out,
I could give a fuck about tomorrow, I’m living right now

HOOK

Nod your head, know you lovin’ the beat
‘cause Sun Zoo could make a grandmother jump in her seat
throw the walker down, bust out, and run in the street
yelling “long live real hip-hop” and “fuck the police”
Stack her chips up, till she had a couple of Gs
Cop a system, throw it in the truck or the jeep
Pop in this one, roll around bumpin the beat
Turn the shit up, till you feel it rumble the street
Its funny to me, never take a track lightly
Despite being mocked by my friends ‘cause I might seem
A bit serious with the concepts I’m writing
But I can take a track off, reviewers: fight me.
Haha, suibian to the bone,
Make this song the ringtone on your cellular phone
Buy a couple dozen CDs to sell in your home
And if you pirated this, that isn’t suibian, it’s wrong

HOOK

Lighters in the air for the third verse….well, on second thought
Lighters in the air if you’ve heard worse
I work first on the words as a policy
Things come to me suibian and spit ‘em out of me
Veggie Co signing me’s like winning the lottery
But honestly, I just wanna represent properly
With a knocking beat and the whole crowd watching me
Nodding, then after the show be giving props to me
Not for the pride yo, I just love the feeling
Of gripping on a cold microphone and straight killing
Choose to do it, and if my voice gives out
Spit in morse code with drumsticks tapping shit out
This is the get down, take it how you wanna
Made a cold album, had to give you something for the summer
Plus I’m running out of metaphors anyway
Wrote a whole damn song about nothing just to say

TWO CENTS

Everyone I know is all concerned with the mini calculations
The basis of how we receive an education
And afterwards, if we achieve a social station
Taking our place at the reins of the nation
Hatred was played when our racism tamed
So we fake and abstain, ‘stead of making a change
And it stays in the frame of the matrix engaged
And we say what we say knowing they get the blame

HOOK
Standing on the rotting pieces of a dying stump of wood
Screaming out a broken sentence to the streets
Trying to force my generation out just to lend a helping hand
By composing my opinions on a beat
So if you never listen, give a second, nod a head, or even check it
Then I guess my little thing here is complete
And y’all can rest assured the bitter irony will have part of me laughing
As I cry my lonely way back to my seat

Michael Vick tortured dogs, lied about it, failed a drug test
Got a month less than two years, and everybody’s upset?
The fuck? It’s like I woke up in a dream
Where this dude wasn’t a felon with a million in green
While every year a thousand black kids in their teens
Will get a lifetime because of crack sentencing schemes
Cocaine and crack are the same shit,
But sentences are way less for coke because white people take it
And that shit’s racist, not this ‘David Stern makes the NBA
Wear suits before their games’ shit
We fighting for celebrity bullshit, and the only reason
Justice is dying is ‘cause nobody’s looking

HOOK

Worship at the altar of celebrity, they’re symbols of the money
And the beauty that we wish that we could be
And taking every single day for granted ‘cause our lives are in a file
And it’s just another figure on the sheet
And it’s oh-so-sweet, living every second on the clock
With a pair of dead eyes getting beckoned by the watch
So we watch and we work and we live and we die
It’s all so convincing, but the kids never cry

HOOK
HOOK 2:
And you can call me what you want ‘cause I’m a preachy fucking hypocrite
But only ‘cause you know it to be true
And the only reason I would write a song instead of doing something real
Is that I honestly just don’t know what to do
So I don’t know if I’m just getting older and discovering the world
And I sound just like the biggest king of fools
But I guess I’ll say my piece until there’s nothing left to say
Before the day comes when there’s nothing left to lose

NOVEMBER ALONE (PART II)

Yo, sitting by the bench on a cold fall evening
Watching the leaves crackle and the air vent breathing
Thinking it’s the season for being alone
And even the trees agree when the leaves are gone
What is it? One night, two nights, three nights, a hundred nights like this
Sitting by myself trying to write things
Beatboxing to the radiating vent
belching dead words into the black without a friend
and I’m a friend and an enemy, I’ll answer with a frown
all of a sudden ‘cause this type of shit lands without a sound
I throw my hands up at this town, home of the progressive
Smile at everyone and get a cold shoulder for the effort
Say that Providence is small and mean that cities are constricting
Say Rhode Island ain’t an island but the fucking thing is sinking
So I pause and I’m stressed, and I’m nervous, obsessed
‘Cause I’m lost and I’m tense with no words to express
How I fought but I guess it ain’t work in the end
I thought I was blessed and it hurts to forget
All the words that I said, but the purpose is dead
All I have is night air and a dirge in my head

HOOK
Follow me, we’ll walk through the city alone
We’re strangers, never been to our homes
March until we’re dead and we’re gone
Half a million people, together, spend November alone

(bottle opening noise) Cold beer and revolution,
sitting at the bar plotting a fucking execution
And if this was a movie the bartender would like me
“have a drink, friend,” and burrow down into my psyche
But all I get is beer, and all he gets is tips
So…give me a drink and forget I exist
I wasn’t ready for this, the buildings grew up so tall
That when I walk amongst their shadows I can’t see myself at all
So…give me a cold tall glass of oblivion
And chase it with a shot of shit I wish I was a kid again
And if you’re out of that, give me obscurity
And chase it with a shot of lost innocence and purity
And if you’re out of that, I’ll just have cliché
A tired metaphor of loneliness and I’ll be on my way
Hey…we’re all riding the trend
It don’t work now, I’m sure it’ll be fine in the end

HOOK

Sharp blades and cold tubs
Thinking suicide would be better with guns, or drugs
(slurred) Yeah, I’m depressed but wasn’t really gonna do it
The scene just fit so well with my itunes music
Trail off and let it linger
While divorced parents fight over who can point the finger
This one is for the sinners, free in their little prisons
Daily struggling to make it through another pointless winter
Tools off communication only breed more isolation
In the oh-what-the-fuck-is-the-point generation
Intra-venous love received as drugs
Like…if the prozac could only keep this buzz
I’m reaching up, who knows what I’ll get today
What’s a friend to a bullet point on a resume?
What’s a good meal or a dance to a win?
Collect your trophies, I’ll be here chanting a hymn

HOOK

THE PRESSURE

Some days I…get out of bed with a headache
Life is like a chess game, and as the king you’re only dead weight
And you can juke once or even throw in a head fake
But everybody knows by the close it’s a checkmate
I just break from the inside out
All this pressure got me feeling like I been tied down
No rest allowed, and no one ever says a sound
Emcumbered, submerged, then I drown
This event’s right now, screw the poetry
I be having panic attacks and manic reactions openly
So random in fact it’s smoking me, reach for the beer
Yo, it’s not like I can deal with this soberly
If you don’t understand the potency, it feels like
A hundred tons of bricks are always sitting on my shoulders
Please, let me reword, it’s like its sitting on the soul in me
These types of situations tend to end explosively

HOOK (2 tracks)
The pressure.,,feel it every second every day
The pressure…everywhere and you can never get away
The pressure…nothin’ to do but let it stay
Hey, we all crack sometimes, it’s OK

CHANT
Sometimes I’m smothered with the weight of what I got to do
I used to be a kid, when did I ever get responsible
For my own life, yo it’s what everybody wants to do
Until you feel the weight of that life resting on top of you

And I ain’t sayin’ that I’m special, a lot of times
The little things are the ones that team up when they get you
Combining to depress you, test you, stress you, and unrest you
They make you feel like everything’s against you
And everyone else is oblivious
It seems like there’s whole segments of the population not living this
So we’re independent when the shit is most tenuous
it gets to the point that it makes you so reticent
that you just wanna sit alone in your bed, not opening when
somebody knocks, you know it ain’t friends
just hope they forget, close your eyes and pray it all goes away
when I was young I used to pray that way for snow days
but you can never hide forever
and we had to make up the snow days when the weather got better
better to face the pressure if it’s crushing you
and if you die, we’ll eulogize you on the ones and twos

HOOK

ALIVE

Sunrise on the tips of my eyes, let ‘em flip to the skies
Start walking, the city is mine
Some days it feels like a different time, and every step of the grind
Gets rewinded and left from my mind
And the futures I never decide fade away
As I let go of the pressure and remember that I’m still

HOOK (2x)
Alive! The sun’s shining, heart’s pumping
Lungs breathing, keeping the time the beat’s bumping
No reason not to open my heart and feel something
All seasons, hope never dies, it keeps coming

Cracks on the sidewalk, ugly to pedestrians
Can represent a plant trying to reach for the heavens, yet
Since that seed was only planted under a road
When it was born the sky was black and it just pushed and it hoped
They said that it could never climb to the sunlight, but broke through,
It was right, the sight just reminds me that I’m still

HOOK (1x)

Watching clouds dance across a one-way sky
Little ones is the snares and big ones is the bassline
And if there is a God there’s hip-hop in his veins
Because I see it in the sunset and hear it in waves
Yeah, I hear it in car horns and feel it in trains
Touch it in hugs, breathe it in love, in myriad places

HOOK (1x)

Watch sparks from a fire as they sprint to the stars
Drag a stick on a fence so it bangs on the bars
Watch people as they drive from the back of a car
Hold a new CD before the plastic is off
Make love to your woman or man, I think we all understand
That sometimes you don’t need a plan if you’re

HOOK (1x)

Wind makes a melody, some days I can hear it
Some days I can feel it deep down in my spirit
But even when I can’t I am not going to fear it
‘Cause after the storm’s over’s when you always see clearest
Ah, fuck lyrics trying to capture the sublime
I’ll just….savor the moments when I really feel like I’m

HOOK (2x)

With or without money, with or without fame
With or without girls, with or without change
With or without family, with or without love
With or without pain, with or without drugs
With or without freedom, with or without rights
I’ve always got hope as long as I’ve got life

HOOK (2x)

CALM SEAS

I really don’t know how to start
I’ve got words above this crossed out for like fifteen bars
And it’s hard, ‘cause I never had a way with words
Well—at least not when it came to girls
Plus, our history is complicated, and you know my own past
So I guess I came in a little jaded
Came back from China, didn’t think that we would make it
So I closed off my emotions from the gate, then
Just rolled with it like nothing had changed
While we switched futures, switched languages, and switched names
A little bit, we switched personalities too
You missed the Chinese me, figured we had to be through
So I…stayed closed off, it’s natural too
I built walls, filled every little crack up with glue
So I couldn’t get hurt, backtracking from truth
I almost missed the fact that I’m really happy with you

HOOK

I won’t lie, a lot of times I’m confused
‘Cause I find that I smile all the time with you
it’s too easy, got me feeling like I might be fooled
ain’t this supposed to be hard? Never liked the rules
but thought I knew ‘em, thought I had this whole thing figured out
till you came along and made my whole brain spin about
I figured you was afraid of a commitment
But really you were just never concerned about the image
You and me, no need to tag or quantify it
I’ll admit, yo, at first I wasn’t sure that I could buy
I was happy to try it, but wouldn’t be surprised when
One of us eventually got tired and retired
But now I’m realizing, I was just too afraid
to admit, already had what I desired
you inspired me to further understand myself
I don’t see how I could ask for nothing else

HOOK

And I could write a song where the compliments flow
But it wouldn’t be nothing you don’t already know
So…hope it isn’t self-centered,
Wrote a song about the way being with you has made me better
You’d probably rather leave it unspoken
so forgive me for putting this whole thing in the open
sometimes its easier to talk on a track
like it was fiction because I’m so awkward in fact
though even these days, I’m still confused
I do know that I like what I built with you
I can be real with you, just chill with you
I couldn’t sum up I feel for you
But it makes me feel good just to hear from you
When you’re away, always wish I could be there with you
And I dunno if you feel this too, or what this is
But I do know I care for you

HOOK
So give me clear skies and a warm breeze
Give me a wooden boat and calm seas
Give me them city lights and slick streets
At night and we can watch the reflections and think
Give me them sea greens and deep blues
Give me chopsticks and Chinese food
Give me a deep rain, let me be with you
I think of all of these things and what they mean is you

TAKE ME HOME (feat. Sarah Clark)

I listened to this song today, this dude was singing ‘bout the ocean
I’m so far away, I hadn’t thought but now it’s hard to say
Whether my heart’ll stay, if I can make this home
I’m supposed to make a life out on my own
I’ve gone around the world, but still missing the sea
‘Cause ain’t nobody that I found willing to listen to me
As un-e-quivocally as the ocean, I’d rather deal with problems as they floating
Only thing that stays in motion
As constantly as my mind does so when I wind up
In search of some serenity that’s always where I find some
And I ain’t saying that the place I’m living now
Is any less good, it just ain’t the love I’m given down
‘Cause yes, I’m in the ocean, what I mean is the sea
and not even divine Providence could give it to me
So until I see the water I’ma try to stay afloat
And in the meantime remind the street I’m living off is Hope

HOOK

In my twenty years I’ve heard that home is where the heart is
And, if that’s the case, it’s been a long while since we parted
Where my soul started, holds on inside of my mind
But I’m old, gone, and grown up, ain’t finding the time
I miss sitting on the proch in the shade, we all together
Laughing, gazing at the ocean, seems like everything was better then
Seems like now it ain’t so genuine, and everybody’s older
So we got responsibilities to shoulder
I guess it’s all part of a natural progression
And real life steps in, start using those lessons
That you learned in your home, I know the freedom is a blessing
But there’s times when I can’t keep from feeling retrospective
And I….smell dinner, hear cards shuffling,
A single footstep would set the whole house rumbling
No matter how bad, could never be replaced
And every time I think about it I’m reminded of your face

HOOK

So if….home is location tied to people and their memories
Then every place I’ve ever been remembers me
And I recall them tenderly, can’t wait till I return, think of the friends I’ll see
Caught up in an evanescent reverie
Some days I walk heavily, I don’t regret the place that I live
I don’t regret the things I gave up to make it to this
But I still miss New Haven, Mayline and Warren D
I miss Harbin, Zhang Xinquan, Wenbin, and Bu Aili
Most of all I miss the sea though, where my family goes
When they don’t have to teach, they can relax and finally breathe slow
But it’s a dull pain, I know that love stays
In my memory and of course I’ll get back someday
It’s just today I heard a song and every time I hear the ocean
I’m reminded of my father and my mom
I’m on an Island, but it ain’t the right one
This ain’t my home, I’m just living here until I find one

HOOK

ROADS ON THE EARTH

Deep in the books for class I remain
Ever asked to engage with the facts on the page
What I actually take out, though, is not much
Bunch of rhetoric, falling on ears that’s locked up
But I came across a story, had a little phrase
It was beautiful, sitting there nestled in the page
Translated from the Chinese, in English still pretty
But the meaning of the words just full tilt hit me
It said hope is like roads on the earth
‘cause actually there were no roads at first
but if many men walk in the same place
a road’s made naturally, has to be that hope is the same way
later I learned Chinese, and read it in that
got it tatted on my arm, there forever in black
So I remember we can never go back
Despite whatever is bad, together hope is all we ever can have
‘Cause I ain’t waiting for help from on high
no offense, learned young those angels don’t fly
and it’s lonely, six billion people just shows me
we afraid to start, we don’t know where the roads lead
so we just live life out, mostly
paying taxes, bills, and waiting at the grocery
but what that quote showed me is there aint no roads
‘till we all walk together, that’s where hope be

HOOK
They say that mankind has never been strong
Because of hatred and ignorance we live in the dark
Sun getting blocked by the factory smog
Everyone getting run by the blackest of hearts
But black is the pen in my palm
And black is the ink scratched into my arm
I believe in better, even when it seems like everything’s wrong

And I believe hope is where we belong

I never claimed to know the end or a solution
Never claimed I should be the one to lead the movement
Never said I’d give anything except for my two cents
‘cause two cents is all I can give, but the truth just
hits me, or that’s the way it sometimes seems
and if I’m wrong then it’s whatever, at least I had dreams
and those words that are burned in my arm
like they’re burned in my brain, inspire me to work through the pain
from those first little days when I was young and I’d play with my cousins
my brothers, and then, nothing could touch us
and everything was great, and if I got a scrape
always knew that it would heal, all I had to do was wait
These days it aint quite like that
It gets rough sometimes but we fight right back
And I write like that could save us
Even in the days where the rat race is trying to enslave us
My grandfather was a poet, so I guess it’s only fitting
Years later I still carry the tradition
And I don’t know if this’s the way to a change
But I do know that words can have weight off the page
And that music can save lives and change minds
I know I aint lying, its already changed mine
And if at the same time I reach you in some way
Well, I’ll probably see you on the road then some day

HOOK

Intro text: 希望是本无所谓有，无所谓无的。这正如地上的路：其实，地上本没有路，走的人多了，也便成了路.

Hope cannot be said to exist, nor can it be said not to exist. It is just like roads on the earth. Originally, the earth had no roads, but when many men pass the same way, a road is made.

Sun Zoo Thanks: M.Wu for her feedback, advice, occasional spiritual counsel, and especially for her last second little piece of editing genius. The album wouldn’t be the same without you. Sarah Clark, for her patience, time, and talent. I know that I just kept asking you to do more, and I’m sorry, it’s just that every time I did, you came up with something amazing. DJ HDL, for making everything I do sound better, always. Alex for his swift and beautiful graphic work with the cover, and also for his feedback about the music. Tim, for his feedback, support, etc. Everyone who gets mentioned on the album for being a good sport about it. Warren for being head of my west coast promotion team, and also for your feedback. Ashley for her assistance in translating the chorus of “Sex Love Life”. Cire, Viktomajarmo, and Oursin, for their production work, which sounds great. I hope that I did your beats justice. Nate the Skate for showing love and for (hopefully) turning some of this into a video. Everyone at Amie St. for showing love and for coming up with a really cool site that everyone should visit. Everyone at the Providence Black Rep for showing me love and inspiring me to keep writing and for putting on some great shows. BTS (especially Angela) and Vienna Teng for giving Sarah and me a great forum to try something new. Everyone who reviewed, linked, promoted, passed out, or mentioned Hope Flies and anyone who helps distribute this one. Everyone who listens. Everyone who is dedicated to making good hip-hop, from Spoonfull and the rest of my Solid Ground/Lone Lotus peoples to Def Jukies to Lupe Fiasco and Joe Budden. Slept on Fam and Taiyamo Denku for providing great examples of indie artists grinding and getting real results out of it. Everyone whose music I sampled. I’m giving this out for free, so I hope that you don’t sue me, but if you do you should know that I’m really broke so you’re not going to get anything out of me. My Campaign Activism classes from Explo ‘06. Can you spot the songs you guys influenced? My friends here and elsewhere, fellow Explo warriors, fans (do you exist?), family, teachers and students, and books. My worldview has changed pretty dramatically in the past year or so, and everybody that I’ve been in contact with has been a part of it. Everybody that I forgot who deserves it. I’m sorry, it’s late, and I was drunk last night, which counts.

Big thanks, too, to anybody who helps me out promoting this album and spreading the word any way that you can. I truly appreciate it.

1) Back in Effect (Introduction)
Produced by Cire. Written by C. Custer. Contains a sample from something. Recorded by Sun Zoo for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at the Dean’s Office.

2) Can’t See the Forest
Produced by Sun Zoo. Written by C. Custer. Cuts by DJ HDL. Contains a sample from “One” by Apocalyptica. Recorded by Sun Zoo for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at the Dean’s Office.

3) Aldous Huxley
Produced by Sun Zoo. Written by C. Custer. Contains a vocal recording from the television show “Lou Dobbs Tonight”, property of CNN. Contains a vocal recording from the television show “The Andy Griffith Show”, property of CBS. Contains a sample of a piece originally recorded by George Winston. Recorded by Sun Zoo for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at the Dean’s Office and by J. Cameron for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at his house.

4) Victims
Produced by Sun Zoo. Written by C. Custer. Contains a sample from “Wonderful Life” by Black Box Recorder. Recorded by Sun Zoo for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at the Dean’s Office.

5) Just Music
Produced by Viktomajarmo. Written by C. Custer. Recorded by Sun Zoo for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at the Dean’s Office.

6) Not for Sale
Produced by Sun Zoo. Written by C. Custer. Contains a sample of music originally recorded by Galata Mevlevi. Contains a vocal recording of a public speech by Immortal Technique. Contains a sample from “On the White House Lawn” by GRIME (used by permission). Recorded by Sun Zoo for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at the Dean’s Office.

7) Can’t Let Go
Produced by Viktomajarmo. Written by C. Custer. Recorded by Sun Zoo for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at the Dean’s Office.

New Pirates (feat. DJ HDL)
Produced by Sun Zoo. Written by C. Custer. Cuts by DJ HDL. Recorded by Sun Zoo for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at the Dean’s Office and by J. Cameron for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at his house.

9) Do You Mean It? (feat. DJ HDL)
Produced by Sun Zoo. Cuts by DJ HDL. Contains samples from “Through the Bamboo Forest” by Tan Dun and Yo-yo Ma. Recorded by Sun Zoo for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at The Minden and by J. Cameron for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at his house.

10) Jane’s Song
Produced by Oursin. Written by C. Custer. Contains a sample. Recorded by Sun Zoo for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at the Dean’s Office.

11) Sex Love Life
Produced by Cire. Written by C. Custer. Contains a sample. Also contains a sample from “I Used to Love H.E.R.” by Common, edited by M. Wu. Recorded by Sun Zoo for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at the Dean’s Office.

12) Leave the Rest Behind (feat. Sarah Clark)
Produced by Sarah Clark and Sun Zoo. Music written and performed by Sarah Clark. Vocals written by Sarah Clark and C. Custer. Recorded by Sun Zoo for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at The Minden and Grad Center. Sarah Clark appears courtesy of Sui Juris Records.

13) Rain is Gone
Produced by Sun Zoo. Written by C. Custer. Contains a sample from “I Didn’t Understand” by Elliott Smith. Contains a sample from “But For Now” by Jamie Cullum. Recorded by Sun Zoo for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at the Dean’s Office.

14) Peace
Produced by Sun Zoo. Written by C. Custer. Contains a sample from “Wind Cries Mary” by Jamie Cullum (originally recorded by Jimi Hendrix). Contains a sample from “High & Dry” by Jamie Cullum (originally recorded by Radiohead). Recorded by Sun Zoo for Lone Lotus/Sun Zoo Music at the Dean’s Office.

Executive Producer: Sun Zoo
Mixing: Sun Zoo

The Dao of Sun Zoo
Currently Unavailable

Escaping

It was barely 8 o’clock when he stepped in the store
An old man, with his back to me, next to the door
He looked fragile and poor, I forget what he wore
But he was shaking, he could barely take a step on the floor
I looked at my boss like, “What the fuck should I do?
This is an island, there’s no hospital to run the man to.”
But my boss didn’t seem to even notice the dude
Though he was looking sick, shaken, beaten, broken and used
So I stood there, and as the man walked up to me
It was obvious the dude found it hard just to breathe
I was figuring he suffered from some awful disease
When he concentrated, looked into my eyes, and said “Please,”
“Do you think you might have any whiskey in back?”
I gestured to a shelf: “Sorry, all we got now is that.”
He looked sad, but like he already knew
It didn’t matter, he went to the shelf and found eighty proof
The bottle of vodka shook, though he gripped with both hands
He placed it on the counter, but he couldn’t get it to stand
And knocked it over, then I took it, while the register scanned
I watched him and I could see he was ashamed of his hands
He finally walked out the door with the drink in his mitts
And I watched him out the window, still thinking he’s sick
He climbed in his old truck, almost licking his lips
Before he drove off, I watched him take a swig of the shit

By the time my boss tells me, I can see what it is
The man was shaking so badly ’cause he needed a drink
And what’s worse, my boss said, is that his wife doesn’t know
So half the bottle will be gone by the time he gets home
He’ll just keep buying liquor every day till he’s broke
My boss finished, then he walked away and left me no hope
But I guess you see a lot if you’re owning the store
That sells booze in a town mostly broken and poor
Where half the population lives serving the rich
And the other half mostly makes their earnings in fish
Being subservient is probably never good for your health
And I should know, I worked there as a servant myself
And I can understand after days of polishing brass
And keeping dust off of the nice shit that you’ll never have
How it’s so easy to become broken, bitter, and sad
And want to sip a little vodka just to get out of that
And then a sip becomes another sip, or maybe a glass
Maybe a few if it’s enough for you to break with your past
Till every day you’re buying liquor just to save being sad
You probably don’t even notice till you’re shaking as bad
As the man in the store, ’cause you’re needing a drink
To get through the day and function, and even to think
Until it’s worth hiding things from your wife and your kids
Just to distract yourself from how miserable your life is

And this same kind of story can be found all around
How crack kills in the ghetto booze kills in small towns
And if it ain’t booze, it’s probably cigarettes or scratch tickets
Spending grocery money on them for the chance to cash in it
Same faces every day, same games is getting played
So shit, ain’t no surprise it all goes the same way
Listen close, becuase this could affect all of you
This is the same shit I fucking lost my grandfather to
You probably didn’t know him, but you know someone else
Who plays the lotto and drinks when all that money could help
Them buy themselves their next meal or a better education
Or some far more productive way of escaping

I gotta get away, gotta escape

Just Fuckin’ Around

I’m not famous, I don’t spit for a deal
And I’m not from the streets, don’t give a shit if it’s real
I just flip it and kill every mic, and I spit what I feel
Make sure every fucking syllable’s ill
I’m killin’ em still, when I’m not tryin’
And other rappers wanna claim their shit is better but I’m not buying
I’m not kidding, if you say your shit can top mine then
Maybe you should make like David, and stop lyin’
Serious words got ‘em fearin’ a verse
So fuck a battle, I’m putting their career in a hearse
Not ’cause I challenge other emcees…it’s just after a crowd
Hears me they don’t wanna hear them speak
It’s ’cause I got range, I’m never the same
I’ll yell fuck the industry, then try to get in the game
But I ain’t hard to understand, here’s a hint at my brain
I just wanna eat, sleep, and play videogames

HOOK:
I’m dope as fuck, but I don’t even try
So if I quit this rap shit yo, don’t be surprised
You wanna sign me to ya label? I don’t wanna be down
‘Cause I ain’t trying to get rich, I’m just fuckin’ around

I never gave a fuck about rapping
I’m just gonna use this to start careers in basketball and acting
Actually the fact is I’m a sarcastic bastard
With too much free time and just rap to pass it faster
Me being this dope was a mistake
I only wrote my first song to get a free copy of some mixtape
“Seventeen bucks? I don’t think I can do it!
Uh, here yo, take this song, it’s exclusive.”
And I won’t front like I ain’t lazy as fuck
Just look at my face, it’s clear I haven’t shaved in a month
Still, me fakin’ the funk? Couldn’t pay me enough
I don’t wanna make the effort, fuck you labels and stuff
Yo, I ain’t changing my game or even changing my name
That’s work motherfucker, yo, I’m stayin’ the same
So before I take a day of your fame, I’ll freak out worse than Rick James
and motherfuckin’ throw a brick straight at your brain

HOOK

They say start every verse with something to quote
But I’m lazy, and I don’t care…so I don’t.
Frankly, you’ll be lucky if I finish the song
“Yo, how much I got left dude? This shit is too long…”
Nah, but in all seriousness I’m not serious, just
I do this to be blowin’ up spots, period
Spit furious, while I respect a lyricist
Words is no good without dope flow to hear the shit
So I kick this sick shit for y’all to bump to
Then run through your neighborhood screaming out “Sun Zoo!”
Just ’cause I want to, I do it for kicks
I get a beat, grab the mic, and say the stupidest shit
That I can think of and still crowds is lovin’ my steez
Emcees ain’t as sick as me, they got some other disease
I’m the cat that every other rapper wanted to be
I’m just too lazy to take all the shit that’s offered to me

HOOK

November Alone

Mid-November, and I can feel a chill in the air
And with the sun down, I can feel that winter is there
It’s dark and cold, but I like that
I’m sitting on the steps outside watching people try to fight back
With collars up but eyes down as they walk past
Hurrying home for a shower or a warm bath
And I’m alone but don’t mind ’cause it’s more that
I’m trying to catch this night in my mind before I walk back
I’m not unloved, and yet something is missing
Got friends, but feel alone even when I’m with them
So I watch some couple’s street romantic kissing
And can’t stop from thinking that I fucked up the system
A square peg that doesn’t fit in the hole
My whole family’s around, I’m still sitting alone
The one player on the team who can’t get in the zone
The only person in the room who ain’t getting the joke
But yo, it hasn’t always been like this
I used to feel like I could depend on shit
And I hope a few people at least, I still can
I just can’t tell them everything the way I had planned
So I tell my notebook and then it tells the mic
And my speakers tell the people what I can’t in real life
But something about this just doesn’t feel right
I’ve thought a lot about it and I just feel like

HOOK:
It doesn’t really matter what you do with your life
You could have kids, good friends, a girl or a wife
You could have a whole family that was treating you right
And still all it really takes is a twist of the knife
One twist could have you feeling like a stranger at home
Because no one’s lived a whole life the same as your own
And when you finally realize, you feel naked and cold
You can’t share your whole life, you gotta face it alone

The truth is girlfriends pass, friends move on
Family is family but they do you wrong
Even your wife could do any dude she wants
That’s just life, and the hardest bonds to lose are strong
But people die, old friends change
And you change even if they stay the same
I remember when my aunt used to play our games
Now she looks at me and can’t even say my name
I finally see there’s no happy ever after
And eventually tears have to follow after laughter
People act close ’cause we’re all a bunch of actors
Motivated by our own greed, love, and other factors
Stare life in the eyes and their glitter reveals
A whole vast emptiness beyond her bitter appeal
But I’m sitting on the steps with a smile on my face
Cold and alone but I like the time and the place
‘Cause I like myself and this mind that I’ve made
Alone in good company, I kind of relate
Friends are great, but use your mind when alone
And learn to love yourself for the times when they’re gone
So when life gives you a lemon throw it right at her dome
And say, “Fuck you, I’m not alone, bitch, I’m home.”

HOOK

Hope Flies

I can’t get back…
To the place that I was, man, I been trying
But I find I ain’t able enough
To change my mind or replace all this stuff
That has happened and this time I couldn’t say what it was that
Pushed me over the edge, it could have been friends
It could have been death, it could have been getting left
It could have been stress, it could have been just
that this time the same shit different day just wouldn’t digest
But what has it left? I’m fucking depressed
Well ain’t that a big surprise, man, who the fuck would have guessed?
I wanted the best, drew the short end of the stick
But even in the bad times you never get what you think
I thought I knew who I was throughout all this
But now I’m looking in the mirror goin’ “Aw shit”
Whatever caused this fractured my brain, I have to retain
The thought that I’m actually sane
Like, if I was crazy would I be so confused?
If I was crazy would I still wanna go to you?
If I was crazy would I know what I’m supposed to do?
If I was crazy would I have any hope to lose?
I ain’t crazy ’cause I still got hope
And I live in the only city where hope still floats
In the Ocean State hope still flies
So fuck the path that I walk, I walk the Providence streets and look at the skies
Local cats understand what I mean
But I don’t think anybody understands what I’m seeing
And I ain’t trying to be cryptic
I just don’t have any idea what I’m thinking at this instant
Can’t decide so I’ll decide to not decide
Can’t think so I guess I’ll just stop and ride
I let if flow, so don’t worry yo, I’ll be fine
See you around, right now, I got to fly

Glass House

I know a lot of hypocrites, and backstabbing motherfuckers
If you ain’t there they talking shit, but if you are, they like a brother
But, small wonder, when the chips go down
You suddenly never see these little shits around
Like dude I used to know, dude taught me to rap
But after that I practically carried the rat on my back
I gave him free beats, fucking track after track
He recorded on my shit and I was actually glad
To help him out so I mixed it and mastered it too
All the time never knowing what the bastard would do
The thing is, it wasn’t like he couldn’t afford
To buy the things that I had, yo, he could have had more
He was rich, I worked my ass off, spent over a thou
On the equipment, all he had to do was open his mouth
I wasn’t bitter, and I wasn’t gonna complain
I was way better than him but still lettin’ him play

HOOK:
There’s a lot of people out there with slow brains and fast mouths
Who always act foul, never wanna back down
I just laugh when karma leaves them assed-out
You shouldn’t throw stones if you live in a glass house

So one day I get a chance to kick a rap at this show
Opening set for a band people actually know
I heard a month before and as soon as they asked me to flow
I knew I’d need a hype man so I was at this kid’s door
I asked him to do it, and he was like OK, yo
But I told him if he wasn’t sure that he should say no
That way I’d have a little time to find someone else
But he assured me it was fine and he could do it himself
I spent the month practicing, getting psyched up to flow
Then this dude calls me up the fucking night of the show
He can’t make it, ah, fuck, what the fuck do I do?
Yo, I guess I do it solo, I got nothing to lose
After every time I helped him, all the shit that I did
He skipped out on my show to fucking kick it with friends
But fuck it, I don’t even care anymore
‘Cause now that bitch has no beats and nowhere to record

HOOK

Picture this, a little cat, maybe five foot six
At my show, being a dick, probably high as shit
I’m trying to ignore him ’cause I’m doing a show
But this motherfucker’s shouting and he screws with the flow
He wanna battle, swears that he’s the illest rapper out
And he could fuck with my shit onstage without a doubt
A loudmouth, and ain’t no fucking way to drown out
Dude’s voice, everybody wants to hit him with a roundhouse
And while no one wanna see cops get involved
He’s killing the vibe, and I can tell he’s not gonna pause
He stopped the applause, the audience has walked to the doors
So I call him out, now the bastard got what he wants
He freestyles a verse and the shit is garbage
Then they give the mic to me and he’s demolished, no contest
The crowd laughs ’cause dude got what he deserved
He got what he wanted, and he got served

HOOK

Something is Wrong

I didn’t wanna write this, I thought that I had stopped writing period
And finally got serious, I’m not a lyricist
I just had to write this to survive
‘Cause shit I see every day was starting to eat me inside
On the news, everybody’s screaming out of control
While Fox pushes Botox into reality shows
And I just sit on the couch thinking how did we go
From hunting for our own food to companies without souls
Controlling everything we see? This ain’t no conspiracy theory
This shit is real, yo, it’s everywhere, please hear me
Let’s exercise a little critical thought
‘Cause I don’t think most people realize half the shit that gets taught
Look at the swan, and look at what it teaches our kids:
“You’re not a model, but that’s nothing this procedure can’t fix”
It’s kind of scary, but people do believe in this shit
And find it worth spending time on, and even in print
We get the same messages and the same goals, look at the news
It’s just reality TV with a suit
It’s the same entertainment, to get the same ratings
To attract the advertisers so they get the same payment
It’s all calculated carefully and thoughtfully
But we don’t wanna see that, we wanna see what’s on the screen
They just show us what we wanna see
The more I think about that fact, the more that fact is haunting me

BREAK

I wish this was a conspiracy, or somebody’s plan
‘Cause if it was, we’d have a lot less blood on our hands
But as it is, it’s just supply and demand
And there’s no demand for truth as society stands
How did we get so apathetic, paranoid, bored and pathetic
That we bought into the SARS epidemic?
We just dance to the flickering light
And hope the entertainment takes our minds off miserable lives
So we watch doctors cutting ugly people with knives
And though it’s sick, there’s a million people eager to try
They think there’s something wrong with them, believing the lies
For big boobs and botox these kids are risking their lives
That shit is twisted, these people have a hellish existence
Instead of helping them out, we put them on television?
What’s the obsession, I don’t get it, man, I never have got it
So people watch these shows and I just do my best not to vomit
And I don’t watch the news because they’re all a bunch of puppets
Who all make a lot of noise but ain’t really saying nothing
Despite endless dumb pundits having endless discussions
They argue for the sake of argument and nothing comes from it
Turn on your TV, this shit ain’t just in a song
60 channels, 24 hours, always it’s on
I think it’s pretty fucking clear that something is wrong
We need to try to fix this before our country is gone

Get Free

I can’t take it, turn on the radio, it’s fake shit
Turn to my man like ‘Change the station”
You can seek for ten minutes yo, it’s the same shit
And I ain’t even got a CD to replace it
It’s all sex, lies, and videotape
Diamond rings, big chains, and high-class champagne
These rappers wanna front like they owning an airplane
They can barely afford to even rent for a damn day
Yo, I understand how the industry works
You on a contract, then you probably finna get jerked
I know it’s big bills they be giving at first
But they don’t pay for your studio and it’ll get worse
When you find out you have to pay back the advance
Before you see any money that they make on your jams
Too many of you rappers put your name on the line
And then end up broke when your label is fine

HOOK:
If you signed a contract for your life, need to get free
If you don’t own none of your rights, need to get free
I see the chains and the ice, but don’t tempt me
Turn off the radio, people, and get free

Now you got some old dude and you owe him your life
Because you signed a contract for the dough and the ice
Well, I hope you got it and I hope it was nice
‘Cause now this dude has control of what you flow in the mic, man
You wanna get real, he wanna get hard
You wanna heal wounds, he probably wanna make new scars
Controversy sells, yo, he knows the biz
But now you don’t know whether you should show your kids
But shit’s on the radio and getting some love
Nobody gives a fuck what you did in the club
But they do love to dance so your shit will get played
Nobody really cares what you think or you say
Plus you can’t send a message ’cause the tapes of your shit
Have to get approved by the fucking label exec, who’s like:
“Nobody wants to dance to political shit,
Get back in the studio and make us a hit”

HOOK

One Sip

I don’t know if I should say this, afraid that you might hear the song
And think I’m fucked up, and then you’d be gone, I couldn’t take it
I’ve lost enough, I need you as a friend,
I don’t know what the fuck I’ll do if it ends, yo, for real
I’ve been through too much shit in one week
To hear the five words you know I want to hear you un-speak
But you can’t change your heart, I understand that
So I’ma let you do you while I just stand back
But I can’t act like it didn’t phase me, like I haven’t missed you lately
And I don’t need the things you gave me
Hope floats, but I won’t fly on the wings of maybe
The question is, who do I call now when shit is crazy?
‘Cause I don’t want to seem pathetic, and even more than that
I know you’re busy and don’t need another headache
I gotta deal with my depression, not for myself
But for the sake of our friendship

HOOK:
One sip for the girl
One sip for the world
One sip in the hopes that I can make the room swirl
Drown my sorrows in a bottle of beer
And wonder what the fuck am I doing here?

This ain’t a love song, in that way, I get that you’re gone
But I’ma pray everyday that our friendship is strong
Becuase I can’t deal with tough shit just in these songs
I need someone to talk to when the pressure gets hard
My life ain’t hard, ain’t usually do or die
But I don’t usually have friends thinking about suicide
Who drank a lot of booze, took a couple of pills
Then bought some cigarettes and went out for a walk on the hill
And won’t answer phone calls or say where he is
We walkin’ round the whole city hoping maybe it’s just
Some kind of joke, but everybody there knows that it’s not
And I’m just walking by myself feeling hopelessly lost
Thinking ’bout my friend, thinking of you
Thinking why do people do the fucked up shit that we do
My friends fine, but I’m still here sipping on brews
Thinking maybe that I should have just listened to you

HOOK:
One sip for the girl
One sip for the world
One sip in the hopes that I can make the room swirl
Drown my sorrows in a bottle of beer
I’m only thinking that I wish you were here

Sometimes it’s hard to keep from going insane
When there’s some fucked up shit drilling a hole in my brain
So I…mix a drink with the hope it’ll change
And if I drink enough I won’t even notice the pain
But yo, you know how that goes, it only remains
I end up sitting by myself feeling lonely and strange
I can’t cry, my tears are ink and they flow to the page
I hope it helps, and without God, hope is my faith
And…hope flies, yo, I hope that’s true
So I’ma let it free and then I’ll go ask you
If you’ve got a minute to talk, I know that you do
So fuck this song yo, I’ma go and get you

HOOK:
One sip for the girl
One sip for the world
One sip in the hopes that I can make the room swirl
Actually, fuck that, never mind
I’ve got my hope, and I’m gonna be fine

Take a Rest

Take a walk, any street, any city
Observe pedestrians, eyes down, walkin’ quickly
In a rush just to get home or get to their job
Afraid they’ll be late, afraid they’ll be stopped, afraid they’ll be robbed
Maybe the mob mentality sets in
Or perhaps they’re just too damn busy to question
The fact that we run around chasing suggestions
Till life isn’t life, it’s a series of sections
You ever feel the clock’s running your life
And you can never seem to make it out from under the knife?
If you do, then believe me, I know how you feel
It’s one thing after another baby, no time to chill
Ever need some time off, afraid to tell your boss?
On vacation but afraid to turn your cell phone off?
You wake up on the weekends still afraid of a fax?
It’s like this whole damn country’s just afraid to relax

HOOK:
Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
Into the future
We move so fast, but where do we go?
We need to calm down, slow down, get in control
Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
Into the future
We move so fast, I know it got you stressed out
We need to chill, sit back, take a rest now

Yo, you can walk the streets for an hour or two
And the only human contact is people shouting at you
You can see tons of people and be going for miles
But everybody’s got their heads down and nobody smiles
We need to go study, we need to get As
We need to go to work ’cause we need to get paid
We need to get this done, calls need to get made
I got a revelation people, we are just slaves
Slaves to our calendar and slaves to our watch
Slaves to our PDAs and to our email box
We’re slaves to our boss and we’re slaves to our screens
We’re barely people at all, we’re machines
Now I recognize, some things you gotta do
But you take it overboard, at least a lot of you
Could use a little rest and a lot less stress
I suggest: chill out and take a goddamned breath!

HOOK

You can call me a hypocrite, guilty as charged
Yo, there’s times I wanna wake up and kill the alarm
Times when it seems impossible to chill and be calm
Times when I don’t have time to kill with a song
But yo, I seen people with no time to sleep
And I got friends I gotta remind to eat ’cause
They get too much stress and no rest
Which makes them upset which leads to more stress
A vicious cycle, it’s like we only run ’round
This whole society needs to slow the fuck down
Think of your friends, yo, think of your wife
Think of your kids if you got ‘em, man, think of your life
And turn that cell phone off for a minute
Stop stressing out and stop thinking about business
Kick your feet up and lean your chair back
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and relax

HOOK

The Horizon

CHORUS:
Put eyes to the skies, it should be no surprise
That you see an answer
And I ain’t talking of God, I’m just saying people find hope
And they command her
And I ain’t never met a man in my life who ain’t got
Hope of love inside him
So everybody as you wait for the light
Keep your eyes up on the horizon

So tell me what you thinking about, if you shedding a tear
I know it seems like armageddon is near, but get this shit clear
It’s not all dead presidents here, we got one earth man
We all residents here
So we all share a couple things
Whatever trouble brings
And I don’t know the answers but we’re all wondering
The same questions, how we made, in essence,
And if this life is one big waste or a lesson
And you could look in books
And you could look in church
But I think heart is where the people should be looking first
And I ain’t saying love will fix it, yo, it could get worse
You must be careful with your love or people could get hurt
But at the same time, hope could arise
No matter how bad it is you gotta open your eyes
Or you won’t see it get better, open your eyes
Whether you need sun or rain yo, they both in the skies

CHORUS

Some people get tired of life, I been there man
All I can say is hold on the best you can
It does get better and it does get worse
No matter what, things change, ends come with firsts
But I know you’ve all heard all the shit that I say
And you’re probably sick of it, so yo, I’ll give it a break
PAUSE
Well, I hope that was great, back to the issue
Life is just life and it ain’t out to get you
I know it seems other ways sometimes
But I promise you this ain’t just a waste of rhymes
I write songs like this with the hope it will help
Some other people out, but mostly myself
We all have downtime, no use disguising
Just keep your eyes open and watch the horizon

CHORUS