I’m now a contributing writer for the expat blog Lost Laowai, and just did a piece for them on crappy subtitle translation in the movie There Will Be Blood. It’s pretty funny, I think, head over there and check it out.

Now that it’s been up there for a few days, here’s a copy of the post:
Last night, I had nothing to do and no classes this morning, so I popped in a pirated copy of There Will Be Blood. About halfway through, I decided to turn on the Chinese subtitles, since I’d seen the movie before anyway, but I was pretty surprised at what I found, and parts are pretty funny, so I thought I’d share it with everyone.

I’ll preface this by saying that this has been done before, by John at Sinosplice. He, however, reviewed Closer, a film with a Metacritic score that barely edges out The Wackness. The Wall Street Journal called it “an airless, ultimately joyless drama.”

There Will Be Blood, in contrast, was universally lauded. It won multiple Oscars and had been out on DVD for quite a while when I picked up this pirated copy. I was curious; would the translators invest more time (and/or get someone who actually spoke English) for this film? The answer: a resounding “No.”

For your enjoyment, I’ve translated four crucial scenes from the film, with the original dialogue in bold and then the subtitle translation after it in italics. These scenes are all extremely important to understanding the main character of the film (Daniel Plainview), so I thought they were especially good choices for illustrating this epic subtitle translation fail. They are by no means the only scenes with mistakes, though.

If you’re pressed for time, skip to the Scene 3; that’s where it really gets crazy.

WARNING: THESE SCENES CONTAIN PLOT INFORMATION AND SPOILERS. IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE FILM, DON’T READ BEYOND HERE.

SCENE 1

The preacher ELI comes to confront DANIEL about DANIEL’s promises to the church shortly after DANIEL’S SON has been injured in an oil-drilling accident and lost his hearing.

ELI: When do we get our money, Daniel?
Subtitle: When do we get our money, Daniel?

[DANIEL slaps ELI]

DANIEL: Aren’t you a healer and a vessel for the Holy Spirit? When are you coming over to make my son hear again? Can’t you do that?
Subtitle: Do you mean to say you didn’t hear? Isn’t your specialty the spirit? What did you come here for? Is it possible that you can’t do anything?

ELI: If you had let me bless the well, this wouldn’t have–
Subtitle: You really are a bastard.

[DANIEL slaps ELI again]

ELI: You shouldn’t have done that, Daniel.
Subtitle: You shouldn’t have done that.

ELI: [Crawling away] You owe the church of the Third Revelation $5,000. That was the arrangement that we made.
Subtitle: You bastard. I didn’t do anything. It wasn’t me who did it.

So much for plot points!

SCENE 2

A man named HENRY has shown up, claiming to be DANIEL’s half-brother.

DANIEL: Where are you coming from?
Subtitle: Where did you come from?

HENRY: From New Mexico.
Subtitle: From Mexico.

DANIEL: Yes, I know. From where?
Subtitle: Yes, I know. From where?

HENRY: Silver City, I’ve been there for two years. I was trying drilling of my own for years, getting leases in Texas, Louisiana…
Subtitle: I’ve been there for two years. I was leading the vagrant life for many years, then I came here.

DANIEL: Anything that produced…?
Subtitle: And you had something?

HENRY: No, not like your success, no.
Subtitle: No, I’m not as successful as you.

[Later.]

DANIEL: Are you an angry man, Henry? Are you envious, do you get envious?
Subtitle: Are you an angry man, Henry? Are you envious? Do you envy me?

HENRY: I don’t think so, no.
Subtitle: I don’t think so, no.

DANIEL: I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people.
Subtitle: I’m competing with myself. I won’t let anyone else succeed. I hate most people.

HENRY: That part of me is gone. Working and not succeeding, all my failures have left me…I just don’t care.
Subtitle: Yes, many people are gone now. Work and success, all I have heard are my own failures. I don’t care.

DANIEL: Well, if it’s in me it’s in you. There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I want to earn enough money I can get away from everyone.
Subtitle: Whatever’s in me is in you. The people I find, I have nothing in common with them. I want to earn enough money to get away from everyone.

HENRY: What will you do about your boy?
Subtitle: So, what about your son?

DANIEL: I don’t know. Maybe it will change. Does your sound come back to you, I don’t know…maybe no one knows. A doctor might not know that…
Subtitle: I don’t know. Maybe it will change. I don’t know, maybe it will influence him deeply. Maybe no one knows, maybe only heaven knows.

HENRY: Where’s his mother?
Subtitle: Where’s his mother?

DANIEL: I don’t want to talk about those things. I see the worst in people, Henry. I don’t need to look past seeing them to get all I need. I’ve built up my hatreds over the years, little by little.
Subtitle: I don’t want to talk about those things. I see the worst things, Henry. I don’t want to see those things. They have already become history, over the years I will gradually forget.

DANIEL: Having you here gives me a second breath. I can’t keep doing this on my own, with these…people.
Subtitle: I want to find a breath of fresh air. I can’t keep going on alone like this. If things stay like this, people…

SCENE 3

This is where our friend the subtitle translator really starts to lose his grip on what the hell is going on. DANIEL has a gun to HENRY’s head, doubting that he is really who he claims to be.

DANIEL: What was the name of the farm next to the Hill House?
Subtitle: I want to give the house I will grow old in a name.

HENRY: I can’t remember.
Subtitle: Yes, I don’t remember you.

DANIEL: Who are you?
Subtitle: [No subtitle]

HENRY: I’ll leave, Daniel.
Subtitle: Are you Daniel?

DANIEL: Who are you?
Subtitle: Who are you?

HENRY: I’m no one. Just let me get up and go.
Subtitle: I’m no one, just an unimportant person.

DANIEL: Do I have a brother?
Subtitle: You are my brother.

HENRY: I met a man in King City who said he was your brother. We were friends for months, working in King City. And he wanted to make his way to you, Daniel. He didn’t have any money. He died of tuberculosis. He wasn’t harmed, wasn’t killed, nothing bad…but he told me about you, and I just took his story. Used his diary. Daniel, Daniel, I’m your friend, I’m not trying to hurt you. Just survive. No!
Subtitle: In a dream, I came to a Crime City; I became a criminal. There, there were no friends or relatives, but there were many laborers working in the city. It seems like I was there waiting for somebody. Saying it, I’m sure you won’t believe me. Later, I left that capital of crime hurriedly because I didn’t want to see people die. The things you just said to me; I can only say this is still a beginning. Especially as far as you’re concerned. Daniel, we’re friends, true-hearted friends, isn’t that right? Yes. I want to sleep. No!

Ah yes, a dream about Crime City! That’s got about the same impact as the admission that a character is impersonating someone’s dead brother for financial gain. Well done, translator!

SCENE 4

Near the end of the film, ELI shows up at DANIEL’s house, trying to get him to invest in some new property he wasn’t able to purchase when he originally started drilling years earlier.

DANIEL: I’d be happy to work with you. But there is one condition for this work. I’d like you to tell me that you are a false prophet. I’d like you to tell me that you are and have been a false prophet, and that God is a superstition.
Subtitle: I like to hear you speak. You can continue your elegant exposition. It is like hearing heavenly bells. To tell you the truth, I don’t like religion, but I don’t oppose God.

ELI: But that’s a lie, it’s a lie, I cannot say it.
Subtitle: But that’s a lie. I can only say that that is truly a lie.

[After the business details are ironed out]

ELI: I am a false prophet and God is a superstition, if that’s what you believe then I will say it.
Subtitle: Benevolent sir, please help, repair our church.

DANIEL: Say it like you mean it. Say it like it’s your sermon.
Subtitle: Why are you speaking so softly? Say it using that loud and clear voice of yours.

[...DANIEL eggs on ELI until ELI is screaming]

ELI: I am a false prophet and God is a superstition!
Subtitle: In the name of God I am endlessly grateful if Daniel and I can help each other.

DANIEL: Those areas have been drilled. Those areas have been drilled.
Subtitle: You spoke without emotion. It doesn’t seem like truthful words.

ELI: [mumbles]
Subtitle: Oh, yes?

DANIEL: Yes, it’s uh, it’s called drainage, Eli. I own everything around it so of course I get what’s underneath it.
Subtitle: Yes, child. I would never plan, I have given a lot.

As you can see, anyone watching the movie and relying on the Chinese subtitles would, at best, be really confused. It’s a shame they don’t get people who know what they’re doing to write the subtitles, especially for movies as great as this one. Anyway, those of you with Chinese girlfriends, keep an eye on the subtitles when you’re watching movies together, because the two of you might not be watching the same movie!

As I have previously explained, one of the things that really bothers me about China is the attitude and assumptions most people have about foreigners. It isn’t everybody, though, and today I had one of those moments that reminds me why I shouldn’t let that attitude get to me when it does pop up.

I was at the grocery store stocking up on the things I eat (read: grape juice, peanut butter, chocolate) and, as usual, it was full of old Chinese people. I fought my way through the shuffling geriatric masses to the juice section and reached over a woman who looked about four hundred years old to grab a glass container of Welch’s. She was staring at the same section, pondering what to buy, and when she saw me grab my choice so quickly, she was likely shocked by my manly decisiveness.

She turned around to ask me whether it tasted good, and to her credit, she didn’t skip a beat when she saw I was a foreigner. Her eyes didn’t bug out, she didn’t run away, she didn’t even hesitate to speak Chinese, just asked me anyway just as though I was anyone else.

I probably looked a bit shocked because I’m not used to people doing that, especially not old people who are generally even less used to the idea that foreigners live in China and speak Chinese than younger folks.

Anyway, I told her the juice was good, very good, and then went on my way. I hope she bought it, and I hope she likes it because it’s pretty expensive (a full afternoon on the toilet early in my experience here convinced me it’s worth it to buy the expensive stuff because it tastes good and isn’t poison).

For her it was probably an insignificant moment, but it made me feel pretty good to be honest. I know I’m more sensitive to this stuff than most foreigners in China (and some people like to be singled out anyway), but I really enjoyed being addressed as though I were any other part of the crowd, and not some crazy foreigner.

…”I really enjoyed being addressed as though I were any other part of the crowd”…Christ, this place is turning me into a Chinese person!

I’ve watched a bunch of movies recently that are related to China in one way or another, so here’s my thoughts on them for those interested.

Nanking. This is a documentary about- -any guesses?- -the Nanjing massacres. It’s an American movie, so it’s all in English and it’s very focused on the experience of the (very) few foreigners who happened to be in Nanjing when the Japanese invaded in 1937. The scope of the film doesn’t move far beyond the foreigners and their “Safety Zone”- -a small area of the city cordoned off for refugees and protected by the foreigners in the hopes that it would stop Japanese soldiers from raping and killing them- -so the name Nankingis perhaps a bit misleading; then again the sheer scope of that tragedy is likely beyond what it’s possible to capture in a feature film. Anyway, what’s different about the film is that they’ve hired real actors- -most notably Woody Harrelson and Mariel Hemingway- -to read the diaries and letters of the foreigners, and interspersed that footage with archival footage from Nanjing and footage of Chinese survivors (although not many) and Japanese soldiers (even fewer: those interested in seeing some horrifying interviews with former Japanese soldiers re: Japanese war atrocities would be better served by the film Japanese Devils). This technique works fairly well- -Harrelson is especially good- -and the subject matter has a power of its own. All in all, it’s pretty moving, even more so for those who know that this kind of thing didn’t just happen in Nanjing.

Red Cliff. This is a John Woo historical epic based on part of the ancientRomance of the Three Kingdoms story (which is very, very long). The film itself doesn’t cover much of the tale (I don’t want to spoil the ending but it leaves plenty of room for a sequel to put it lightly) but what it does cover it does quite well. It must have been extremely expensive to make, and it shows; production values are through the roof, and fight scenes are epic, many probably took months to shoot. Although the ending will probably annoy you, this is worth seeing because you’ll want to see the sequel(s?) when they come out, and because Zhuge Liang and Zhou Yu are a pretty badass tag-team of military strategists.

Painted Skin. A supernatural tale of love and evil temptress spirits, this film is bogged down by a terrible soundtrack. It’s not as terrible as the Hitchcock soundtrack, but it’s pretty bad. It’s also pretty melodramatic, which is par for the course with Chinese films, but still, it’s a bit much. I enjoyed it because it’s the first film I watched without English subtitles and I was actually able to understand it (it did have Chinese subtitles), but you aren’t going to get much more out of it than that.

China: A Century of Revolution. This is actually a TV miniseries about the past hundred years or so of Chinese history, and it’s completely indispensable. I think it’s expensive to buy on legitimate DVD, but still probably worth it if you’re interested in modern history at all, and really valuable if you’re teaching it.

That’s it for now, there’s more on the way whenever I get time to watch some more.

I spend about 16 hours a week with Chinese college students, mostly discussing America and American views of China. I’ve learned a lot from them, but the main things I’ve learned are that (1) Chinese people are interested in American culture and that (2) they don’t know much about how America really is.

In the interest of helping increase global understanding of America, and in the interest of improving my crap Chinese, I present: 千里迢迢, a Chinese-language blog I’ll be running about American culture/music/politics/etc. If you can read some Chinese, check it out, If you’re decent at Chinese and want to be a contributor, shoot me an email, and if you’re neither of those things you can still help me out by leaving comments telling me what you think Chinese people should know about America.

Typically, I’m not one to be amused by Chinglish. I’ve seen tons of it, and as someone trying to learn Chinese I’m not really inclined to mock other language-learners just because their English is full of mistakes. Occasionally, though, I do come across something worth posting for other reasons.

It’s gotten cold here recently, cold enough that I’ve invested in some long underwear to keep the chill at bay. Yesterday, I bought a set by a brand called Septwolves. Like many Chinese companies, they have decorated their box with some English. Above a clearly photoshopped picture of some wolves in a forest is the following text:

The wit of the wolves coexists with their action. Against the atrocious nature, the Wolf is as staunch as human beings. The never-altered objective presents a perfect face of the teamwork of wolves.

Below the photo, it continues:

The viability of wolves has far surpassed the consciousness of human beings. What the wolves most care for is “what benefits the Group the most”. Humans are inferior. The losses never change the desire of the Wolves for success. The true feeling makes the Wolf understandable and reliable.

Odd grammar and capitalization aside, this is a bizarre marketing strategy. I know it’s in English, so most of their customers will never read it, but convincing people they’re inferior to wolves seems like an odd way to sell underwear. And their Chinese marketing approach seems to be similar (if more direct); printed on the picture in large, stylized characters is the brand’s apparent motto: “我喜欢狼.” (”I like wolves”). No kidding!

I like wolves too, though, and it turns out their underwear is very comfortable, I just bought another pair today.

Sorry for the lack of recent updates. In addition to work, I’m currently trying to apply for several different jobs as well as graduate school, and I’m also sick, so my time has been limited. There are at least two video features in the works, though.

I’m also thinking about doing a survey of some of my English classes. I teach almost all college students at this point, and I probably see about 500 different students every week. It struck me I’m in a pretty good position to survey them (in English), which is a language practice opportunity for them and a learning opportunity for us.

My question to YOU, dear reader(s?) is: what questions would you like to see on the survey? Feel free to list as few or as many as you would like.

I woke up today and found various news sources telling me this:

A sharply divided Connecticut Supreme Court struck down the state’s civil union law on Friday and ruled that same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry. Connecticut thus joins Massachusetts and California as the only states to have legalized gay marriages.

The ruling, which cannot be appealed and is to take effect on Oct. 28, held that a state law limiting marriage to heterosexual couples, and a civil union law intended to provide all the rights and privileges of marriage to same-sex couples, violated the constitutional guarantees of equal protection under the law.
The New York Times

Well done, Connecticut. I grew up there, and while I’ve often been pretty critical of the state (and its government), I have to say I’m pretty proud about this.

Today (October 1) is National Day here in the P.R.C. It celebrates the founding of the nation on Oct 1, 1949 in Tiananmen Square. It’s the reason everyone has a week of vacation, and its the reason that the city is draped in Chinese flags all of a sudden (of course, no country in the world goes as all out with flags as America, though).

Since it is a political (and recently created, relatively speaking) holiday, it doesn’t have a ton of tradition the way some other holidays like the Mid-Autumn Festival, Chinese New Year, the Dragon Boat Festival, etc. do, but with any luck we’ll at least get a decent fireworks display and I imagine there are ceremonies being broadcast on TV for those who are into that kind of thing. I haven’t watched Chinese TV since the Olympics ended.

There should be some new video stuff up soon, including a pretty interesting interview a friend and I did with a Taiwanese tourist we ran into. The raw footage is about twenty minutes long, and entirely in Chinese, but I’ll have it up as soon as I can cut it down to size and translate everything. There’s some other video too.

Oh also, the old roommate showed up at my door this afternoon, which was quite a shock. I greeted him with a pretty cold, incredulous “What are you doing here?” and he looked shocked I wasn’t happy to see him. Turns out he was just in town for the day and wanted someone’s phone number, which I gave him. I was pretty curt, and I didn’t let him come into the apartment, so he asked me what my problem was. I told him that somewhere between insulting my entire family and intentionally trying to embarrass me in front of coworkers, I had lost all desire to ever see or speak with him again. He said OK and left, so with any luck, that’s that.

This morning I was woken up by the dulcet tones of an air raid siren. It didn’t look like anyone was panicking outside, so I wasn’t super concerned, but still, given that this isn’t 1940s London, I was a bit disconcerted.

If I’d been a bit more awake, I might have realized that today is September 18, the day the Mukden Incident occurred in 1931, giving Japan a flimsy pretext to invade China. I wonder how many people living here now were alive then. Not many, probably, but surely a few. Anyway, it was an interesting reminder for me of just how powerful an influence history sometimes has, especially in this country.

Also, if you’re reading this post, please comment if there’s anything particular you’d like me to talk about/look into/ask Chinese people about. I’m looking for more topics for video features, and I’d obviously like to cover topics people are interested in.

I am a teacher. My parents are both teachers; I was raised on the campus of a school. My grandparents–on both sides–were teachers. Perhaps, then, it stands to reason that I spend a fair amount of time thinking about education.

Working in China, of course, exposes you to a variety of different educational philosophies. Students–and school–are different here, as I’ve touched on in previous posts. The ways are myriad, but today I’d like to get into two specific examples from my own experience here.

The first comes from my experience teaching college students at H.U.S.T. (哈尔滨理工大学). Although I am now teaching some regular courses there, many of the first classes I taught were one-time “speaking” classes. Essentially, I was given nothing but a classroom of students–as many as 60 students–and two hours to do whatever I could to help them practice their speaking. The students, for their part, seemed to be required to attend, but certainly hadn’t been encouraged to care much. One student walked into one of my classes and pulled out headphones and a PSP before I had even started talking.

I understand that with “resources” (i.e., foreigners) as limited as there are here in Harbin, large class sizes are probably unavoidable, but why are they paying me to teach students who don’t want to learn English? This is a waste of my time and the students’ time, not to mention the school’s money. At best, these students simply sleep; at worst, they are disruptive and make it even more difficult for other students to learn than it already is.

I didn’t know this, but apparently admission into a Chinese college virtually guarantees graduation. Parents want their money’s worth for tuition, so students who foreign teachers “fail” rarely actually receive Fs on their transcripts. Somewhere in the whole “red tape” process, the grades get cleaned up to make sure everyone passes. Not everyone passes with good grades, but apparently it’s pretty damn difficult, perhaps impossible, to fail out of college here. This makes sense from a financial standpoint, but not really from an educational one.

At the private school I do most of my teaching at–which I’m not going to name–similar rules apply. Because the school is a business, part of my salary (really just whether or not I receive a bonus) is decided by how my students review my class. This applies in all of my classes; thus, part of my salary is determined by how popular I am with a bunch of five year olds.

On the one hand, if the students don’t like the class, they stop coming and the school loses money. On the other hand, though, this system doesn’t take into account at all whether nor not the students have actually learned anything. A teacher who lets the kids run around and do what they like could theoretically get better reviews than a teacher who’s relatively strict so that the kids’ language skills actually progress. I’m not sure how common an occurrence that is, but I do think that generally, when evaluating teachers, how well they teach should be factored into the equation, whether they are popular should not.

Then again, it’s thanks to this sort of policy that I live in a giant apartment and collected a surprisingly significant paycheck today, so how much can I really complain? Teachers need to get paid. It’s just sad that the sacrifice educators make for economics is so often education itself.