I now have about two weeks left in China. Here’s a list of some things about my life here (not the country as a whole) I’ll miss, or not.

I will miss…

• The chilluns. Even though some of them are incredibly obnoxious, they’re cute and can be a lot of fun when they aren’t doing something that makes me want to strangle them. Remarkably, being called a monster by a classroom of six year olds is much more fun than you’d expect.
• My coworkers. Both foreign and Chinese staff at my branch of my school are pretty awesome, and I’m going to miss them dearly. I’ll especially miss the classes I had training the Chinese staff, and the play-fights between Andy, and, well, all of the girls.
• Food prices. China is a country that a man like me could grow to love, right up until it killed me. I have virtually nothing to spend my exorbitant salary on every month other than chocolate.
• Convenient transportation. Cabs and busses go anywhere all the time. Public transportation here, or at least its mass availability, makes the US look like a third world country. I’m probably going to have to buy a car when I get home, too. Fuck.
• Living on the eighth floor. If there were an elevator, I would be fat.
• Huang Gang. Special shout out to the finest driver in Harbin. Anyone can get you from point A to point B, but big brother Huang does it all while entertaining his passengers and cursing at other drivers.
• “Ye Wen Has Something to Say.” All romance-related problems should be solved by severe Chinese women via radio programs.
• Being a Rich Foreigner Who’s Totally shuai. In America I’ll just be a poor, ugly white guy again.
• Man-size beer bottles. That bullshit you put your beers in in the States and elsewhere is crap. Double it. Now we’re talking. Also, I will miss the price of these beers (about 60 cents for a bottle that holds 2x the beer of American bottles, or more.)

I will not miss…

• Teaching ESL. Yup, teaching English kind of sucks.
• Lack of hot water anywhere other than the shower. This is a feature specific to my apartment, but every time I go somewhere else and wash my hands it feels luxurious.
• Internet censorship. I miss youtube sometimes.
• Air pollution. Or this hacking cough I seem to have developed. Related?
• Dirt everywhere. China generally is a dirty place, but the little courtyard outside my apartment building is the most disgusting place on earth in early spring.
• Ladybugs that bite you. In America, ladybugs are friendly. Not here. Here they are vicious little bastards.
• Having to keep in touch with all my friends from America through email or Skype. Hooray for cell phones.

That’s all for now. Expect future posts here to be similarly nostalgic crap until I get home.