T-Minus One Week

Well, I’ve got less than a week left here and time is basically flying by. It’s a bit bittersweet. I’m looking forward to going home, but at the same time, the only thing about my life here that really makes me want to leave at this point is my job. And by that I mean the teaching English part. I love the students, and I’m going to miss the hell out of my coworkers.

So this week I’m doing my last classes, taking pictures of everyone, cleaning up my disgusting apartment, and (eventually) trying to fit my life into two suitcases in preparation for my departure on Tuesday morning. That may be a challenge, as (inevitably) I have accumulated more crap than I had when I came here. Plus, people keep giving me gifts.

It’s a pretty busy week, and when I get home it gets even busier, so I wouldn’t expect updates here for another couple weeks or so (although there might be). Once I’ve been home for a bit, though, there should be some concrete news about music stuff, shows and also the recording of new albums, so stay tuned.

Things I Will (Not) Miss

I now have about two weeks left in China. Here’s a list of some things about my life here (not the country as a whole) I’ll miss, or not.

I will miss…

  • The chilluns. Even though some of them are incredibly obnoxious, they’re cute and can be a lot of fun when they aren’t doing something that makes me want to strangle them. Remarkably, being called a monster by a classroom of six year olds is much more fun than you’d expect.
  • My coworkers. Both foreign and Chinese staff at my branch of my school are pretty awesome, and I’m going to miss them dearly. I’ll especially miss the classes I had training the Chinese staff, and the play-fights between Andy, and, well, all of the girls.
  • Food prices. China is a country that a man like me could grow to love, right up until it killed me. I have virtually nothing to spend my exorbitant salary on every month other than chocolate.
  • Convenient transportation. Cabs and busses go anywhere all the time. Public transportation here, or at least its mass availability, makes the US look like a third world country. I’m probably going to have to buy a car when I get home, too. Fuck.
  • Living on the eighth floor. If there were an elevator, I would be fat.
  • Huang Gang. Special shout out to the finest driver in Harbin. Anyone can get you from point A to point B, but big brother Huang does it all while entertaining his passengers and cursing at other drivers.
  • “Ye Wen Has Something to Say.” All romance-related problems should be solved by severe Chinese women via radio programs.
  • Being a Rich Foreigner Who’s Totally shuai. In America I’ll just be a poor, ugly white guy again.
  • Man-size beer bottles. That bullshit you put your beers in in the States and elsewhere is crap. Double it. Now we’re talking. Also, I will miss the price of these beers (about 60 cents for a bottle that holds 2x the beer of American bottles, or more.)

I will not miss…

  • Teaching ESL. Yup, teaching English kind of sucks.
  • Lack of hot water anywhere other than the shower. This is a feature specific to my apartment, but every time I go somewhere else and wash my hands it feels luxurious.
  • Internet censorship. I miss youtube sometimes.
  • Air pollution. Or this hacking cough I seem to have developed. Related?
  • Dirt everywhere. China generally is a dirty place, but the little courtyard outside my apartment building is the most disgusting place on earth in early spring.
  • Ladybugs that bite you. In America, ladybugs are friendly. Not here. Here they are vicious little bastards.
  • Having to keep in touch with all my friends from America through email or Skype. Hooray for cell phones.

That’s all for now. Expect future posts here to be similarly nostalgic crap until I get home.

Time to Go Home?

With less than a month left in my stay here, I’ve been reflecting a bit on life in China, and about going home. Just how different will things be? I don’t really remember, but I do know that China now feels perfectly normal to me. There’s very little here that surprises me or weirds me out. Life here is just life at this point; the days go by like they would anywhere. I’ve been thinking that means I’m pretty well adjusted to life here, which makes me susceptible to reverse culture shock when I get back home.

The piece de resistance came last night when I was helping a Chinese friend with the English application to a summer intercultural program in Beijing. One of the free response prompts she was asked to answer asked her to discuss a cultural issue that’s very different between the US and China. Being more submersed in (and aware) of the politics because of my other blog, my first thought was to address that, but she wanted purely cultural issues, no politics, and damned if I couldn’t think of anything different. At least for a minute or two. Finally I made up something about the importance of family, but the fact that nothing jumped quickly to mind was kind of disturbing.

It’s not because Chinese culture and American culture are all that similar, it’s just that I’m so used to China (at least this part of it) at this point that whatever’s “different” here is no longer different to me. And if I’m used to what’s here, it stands to reason when I get home and things are different from what’s here, it might require some adjustment.

I Live

For those who haven’t gathered, my other blog is getting a bit more attention than this one these days, mostly because there are actually people reading that one. But the album lives on, I wrote a bit more of it today and have another beat I’m pretty excited about.

I May Have Started a Race War

…on my other blog. Not really, but if you’re interested in seeing what happens when you suggest Chinese people are racially insensitive and some popular Chinese bloggers find out about it, check out ChinaGeeks. I’d link directly to the post, but you can’t miss it anyway. It’s the one with over a hundred comments in the past day.

Album Update

This being a music site primarily, I occasionally remember I ought to post music related stuff on here. Here are some American Expatriate statistics for you:

Instrumentals Composed: 75
Songs Written (for American Expatriate): 10
Songs Written (for Untitled Free Album): 6

Obviously, some (many) of the instrumentals are crap, and the songs may be too. At least a few of them are good though. I’m looking forward to writing the last few American Expat songs in the next couple months and piecing the album together. This, even more than any of my previous work, might well be something that only appeals to me. It’s also about as cheerful as a morgue, at least lyrically, so get ready for that.

The instrumentals are more of a departure from my previous work. Think dirty live drums mixed with spacious piano chords and simple melodies and you’ll have an idea of what I’ve got on my hands here. My guess is there’s still quite a while before you can get your hands on this album (I’m guessing we won’t start recording until at least the summer), but I may record and post some demos before then. If I do, they will be shitty shitty quality, but they might be fun to listen to for some of you.

Also, keep an eye out for news regarding an album with Sarah Clark, and further collaboration with DJ HDL, who sent me something quite awesome the other day.

…WOW…

Some things are too good not to share. This has nothing to do with China, but it does have to do with hip-hop.

Young people, read this for its sheer hilarity value.

Old people, read this as an example of what never to do when trying to appeal to young people.

There’s just too much good stuff in the article to even quote it, just go read the whole thing for yourself, it’s well worth it.

Travel Part 10: Returned

I am now home, safely. My flight was delayed, etc. etc. I will post some of the best photos late, for now, here is a link to the Facebook photo albums:

MASS MEDIA STATS:
Photos Taken (Estimate): 1,500
Photos Kept: 986
Video Recorded: 62 minutes

MASS TRANSPORTATION STATS:
Planes taken: 2
Buses taken: 15
Trains taken: 1
Cabs taken: 26
Private vehicles taken: 3

FOOD STATS:
Ate Something Sold From A Tricycle: 7 times
Ordered 宫爆鸡丁: 6 times
Ate At Sichuan Restaurants Outside of Sichuan: 5 times
Ate at KFC: 3 times
Most Expensive Meal: 45 RMB ($6.42)
Least Expensive Meal: 3 RMB ($0.42)

LIVING CONDITIONS STATS:
Largest Number of People Sleeping in the Same Room: 150 (Appx., sleeper train to Xi’an)
Longest Without Shower: 2.5 days (Kaifeng)

AWARDS
BEST OVERALL CITY: Xi’an, Shaanxi
BEST OVERALL TOURIST SITE: (TIE) Leshan Giant Budda (Leshan, Sichuan) and Longmen Caves (Luoyang, Henan)
BEST TEMPLE: Wenshu Temple (Chengdu, Sichuan)
BEST TOMBS: Xi’an, Shaanxi (Terra Cotta Warriors, Emperor Jingdi’s Tomb)
BEST WEATHER: Chengdu, Sichuan
BEST CUISINE: Chengdu, Sichuan
BEST STREET FOOD: Xi’an, Shaanxi
OLDEST THINGS: Shaanxi History Museum, Xi’an
WORST OVERALL CITY: Luoyang, Henan
WORST TRANSPORTATION: Taxis in Chengdu, Sichuan
MOST ANNOYING POPULACE: Chengdu, Sichuan
WORST PLANE: Zhengzhou to Harbin (Delayed 1.5 hours)

Many thanks also to the cool people I met along the way and traveled with, including but not limited to: Brian, Chris, Amber, Elsa, Greg, Danielle, British Girl Whose Name I Forget, etc.

Travel Part 9: I Lied Before

…about not posting again before I got back to Harbin. Picking up where we left off…

The nightmarket in Kaifeng was nothing to write home about, which is odd because Lonely Planet was very excited about it. My guess is that it’s more active in the summer and generally anytime it isn’t snowing, but still, disappointing. I did get some kind of fried egg thing, though, so I didn’t have to go to KFC again.

Yesterday, I got up, checked out of my crap hotel, and headed back to Zhengzhou, my present location, by way of bus and a couple cabs. The hotel in Zhengzhou is nice, although it occured to me last night that my idea of “nice” is pretty forgiving. Does the room have hot water? A shower? A toilet? As long as it does and there aren’t also strangers living in it, it’s nice, despite evident burn marks on the wall and my realization that the facilities I’m so impressed by come standard at Motel 6. Anyway, I’m enjoying it.

I took a shower (crap hotel in Kaifeng had no shower facilities), a nap, and then set out in search of a supermarket or convenience store, a search that was doomed to failure. It was also raining so, sans umbrella, I gave up after a while and went back to my room, where I took a bath (why not) and watched some Chinese TV shows (including one apparently filmed in Harbin) and a dubbed version of Antoine Fisher on TV (surprisingly, pretty good. I’ve never seen it in English, but it seems like the sort of movie you’d think wouldn’t work well dubbed into a different language).

This morning I was woken by the “bells” (i.e. tape recorded) in the nearby pagoda blaring the refrain of a classic patriotic tune before announcing that it was 9:00. I caught a bit of another movie on TV (some movie where Leonardo DiCaprio lies a lot?), then headed out to the Henan Provincial Museum.

Like the Shanxi History Museum, it was surprisingly free, but the reason appears to be that most of the exhibits are currently closed. There were basically only two rooms to explore, but luckily, there was some pretty amazing stuff in those rooms. I did indeed see some oracle bones (cracked turtle shells that contain the first traces of writing, some 9000 years old), Shang dynasty bronzes and pottery (if you think Ming vases are valuable, try the ones that are 4000 years older), and some pretty intricate jade carving, as well as some pieces from tombs I studied in school. Unfortunately, since there were only two rooms, that took less than an hour. My flight doesn’t leave till Sunday and I’ve now basically seen everything I wanted to see.

I went back to the hotel and, after inquiring at the front desk, found a supermarket that will provide me with delicious foodstuffs later tonight. Having found it, I wandered east in the direction of a Daoist temple (Ming dynasty, reconstructed), and found it a half hour later.

It was small, and generally pretty unremarkable save the curator who wanted me to give him 400 RMB for him to give to “the gods” to ensure my good health. Needless to say, I declined, noting that if I were concerned for my health I’d see a doctor, and reflecting that it’s really no wonder the CCP has taken the attitude it has toward religion. People like to talk about how they are threatened by it — threatened by any large organization that might rival them — and there may be some truth to that, but that sort of “religion” (giving money for health/whatever) is common in folk religions/daoism and some kinds of Buddhism as well. It strikes me as not particularly good for “the people”. On the sheet the guy was trying to get me to sign, there were lots of other names with large sums next to them, 600 RMB, 800 RMB. These are huge sums for the average Chinese person, and since most wealthy Chinese don’t believe in that kind of “superstition”, I suspect most of those donations were made by lower class people who could be spending that money on their kids or something.

Of course, in America, people have the freedom to throw their money away on religious nonsense, as they do in China. Still, it’s not that difficult to understand why the Party would be opposed to it for legitimate reasons having to do with the welfare of the people. Not everything they do is self-servingly evil.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure Laozi, Zhuangzi, the Buddha, etc., would not approve of this sort of “worship” (or any kind for that matter), just as Jesus would probably balk at many of the things done in his name. Once again, we see that people are the same everywhere.

MASS TRANSPORTATION STATS:
Planes taken: 1
Buses taken: 14
Trains taken: 1
Cabs taken: 23
Private vehicles taken: 3

Travel Part 8: Three Cities

I live!

Picking up where we left off, I woke up the next morning and caught a bus to Luoyang, during which I was able to catch most of the on-bus feature, Turbulence 2: Fear of Flying. If you haven’t seen it, it’s basically Snakes on a Plane, only without the snakes or Samuel L. Jackson (i.e., it’s terrible).

As soon as we got to Luoyang, the place gave me a bad feeling. I’m not really sure why, although part of it was certainly that it’s clearly not as developed a city as any of the ones I’ve visited before. Everything was smaller, dirtier, louder, and generally less attractive. On my walk from the bus station to the hotel I saw several people sitting in shops that appeared to be selling only rocks.

The hotel was fairly cheap, and they put me up in a regular double for the price of dorm housing on the condition that they might give me a roommate if someone showed up. The toilet only kind of worked, and the shower was unusable so I took several baths, but it had a TV and heating, at least, to complement the perpetual construction going on right outside the door.

My first night in Luoyang, I decided to go to the “Old City” section, which has a night market and some leftovers from Luoyang’s days as a capitol. The ancient holdovers were few and far between, and the walk was way longer than I thought it would be, but I ate some delicious street food in the night market and a local hole-in-the-wall before cabbing it back home for the night.

The next day, I took a cab (foolish!) to the Longmen Caves, which are not as close as I thought they were. Having spent as much on the cab as I was spending on my lodgings (50 RMB), I headed into the park.

The Longmen Caves are a series of grottoes with Buddhist carvings dating from the 6th century A.D. They are recognized as a UNESCO World Heritage Site, and did not dissapoint. A half-mile or so (rough guess) of cliff face along a river is hollowed out with several large caves and hundreds of smaller ones, all containing statues and carvings of Buddhas, bodhisattvas, arhats, etc. Some of the statues have had their faces scratched off (defacement from the Cultural Revolution), others have had their heads stolen (by European “archaeologists” in the early 20th century). Two whole walls are also missing (one’s in England, the other’s in Kansas).

Still, what’s left is extremely impressive. The showstopper is a 30m tall Buddha whose face is supposedly modelled after Wu Zetian’s (China’s first, and only, female emperor). You would think that after seeing the world’s largest Buddha, smaller Buddhas would be less impressive, but it turns out that no, they are not. My only complaints about the Longmen Caves were that it was very cold, with a bitter wind rushing over the river and freezing my batteries while I was trying to take pictures.

I returned the hotel room by bus (1.5 RMB) and took a bath to warm up while my camera recharged. Shortly after that, a roommate showed up: a 20-something British girl who had been traveling in Asia for 5 months. We chatted for a bit and then went out for something to eat. Still getting a vibe of evil from Luoyang and having seen the one thing I really wanted to see there (Longmen) I decided to blow off the White Horse Temple and head to Zhengzhou the next morning via the Shaolin Temple.

I didn’t know where to go to get a bus to the Shaolin temple, but conveniently some guy who runs one happened to be standing in the lobby as I was checking out, and the price he offered was shockingly reasonable, so I hopped on.

As it turned out, this was a tourist bus, so along the way we visited some other sites, including the Buddhist monk Xuanzang’s home and burial site (he’s the monk who went to India and who Journey to the West is based on, the Big Goose Pagoda I visted in Xi’an is also dedicated to him) and an interesting school and temple on the same mountain as the Shaolin Temple. On the way, we also passed the White Horse Temple I had decided to blow off visiting, and I immediately stopped regretting my decision as the temple’s pagoda was shrouded in green plastic and scaffolding.

The Shaolin Temple itself was an interesting experience. Kung Fu fans the world over revere it as the sacred birthplace of their art, and it is a tourist mecca. Our tickets included a performance by some of the students who lived and study on-site (there are thousands of them), which was interesting if a bit generic. Then it was on to the real deal, the temple itself, and its attendant “pagoda forest”.

Although we had a guide (Chinese), I opted to spend most of my time in the Shaolin Temple listening to the Wu Tang Clan’s seminal 36 Chambers album, for reasons that should be apparent to anyone familiar with Wu Tang. It was a strange experience, but one I won’t soon forget. The temple itself was beautiful, if fairly small and not particularly old (it tends to get burned down and rebuilt a lot, apparently) — it didn’t seem any more or less related to Kung Fu than any of the other temples I’ve been to, but it was cool.

The real reason to visit, though, is the pagoda forest, which is basically just what it sounds like: a vertiable forest of smallish pagodas, nearly all of which are built in memory of deceased masters from the Shaolin Temple. It’s quite arresting, and if my fucking camera hadn’t been pretending it was out of battery (this happens when its cold) I would have gotten some pictures. As it was, I took some video of it until I ran out of video tape, at which point my video camera also broke (same exact way as before, which leads me to believe it will be another cheap fix, but still…goddamn it).

After the pagoda forest I hopped a bus to Zhengzhou and opted to stay there for the night as it was already evening when we arrived. I wandered the city a bit, finding it infinitely preferable to Luoyang, before running into the hotel I was looking for somewhat by accident. It cost a pretty penny — no dorm rooms here — but it was probably worth it. No roomates, working facilities, and very close to a night market where I ate some freakin’ delicious food (beef and small noodles fried in sauce and wrapped in fried thin pancake-like bread) that night for about 2 RMB.

The next day, I set out for Kaifeng, the last “real” stop on my trip, by bus. A scant hour later I was here in Kaifeng, the ancient “Eastern capitol”, meaning that I have now visited all the ancient capitols but one (Beijing is the Northern Capitol, Xi’an the Western, Luoyang the “Middle”, Kaifeng the Eastern, and Nanjing, which I haven’t visited, the Southern Capitol).

It was raining — a boon for the farmers of Henan who have been suffering through severe drought these past few months, but a bane to a tourist who wants to visit mostly outdoor temples — so I went straight to the hotel and checked into my crappy, bathroom-less room before heading out to check out the local nightmarket.

Unfortunately, the local nightmarket apparently fears rain, so I ate at KFC and spent the rest of the night in my hotel room bored out of my skull.

A closer examination of Lonely Planet revealed two main things to see in Kaifeng, the Temple of the Chief Minister and the Shan-Shan-Gan Guild Hall, so I woke up this morning (thanks, singing guy next door!) and set out by foot to find them.

The Temple of the Chief Minister was nice, essentially a by-the-books Buddhist temple save an octagonal chamber containing a Guanyin (I think it was Guanyin) with 1000 arms and 1000 eyes. It was full of old Buddhist women wielding flaming incense as though no one else was around, and I’m amazed it hasn’t burned down. I spent about half an hour there and then moved on to the bakery across the street, which sold me delicious bread. Then I went on to the Shan-Shan-Gan Guild Hall.

The Guild Hall was small, but full of the kind of interesting details I would never pay attention to if the tour guide hadn’t badgered me into purchasing her services. The tour was in Chinese, but it only cost 10 RMB and was probably worth it, as I learned lots of interesting things about the carving details in the decorations under the roofs; in short, EVERYTHING is significant and has some meaning in addition to its aesthetic value. The place was more or less deserted, and actually quite beautiful although it’s really just one courtyard and hall, it was aesthetically one my favorite places on the trip.

It was also the last thing I really felt the need to see in Kaifeng, save the nightmarket. There are some pagodas, but I’ve seen my fill of those, and many of the other sights are parks and lakes, not a ton of fun when it’s freezing out and all the trees are dead.

I’m hanging out in Kaifeng for tonight to take another shot at seeing the nightmarket before returning to Zhengzhou tomorrow. There’s really only one thing to see there — a musuem that promises to show me oracle bones, among other ancient things — but the hotel is nice, I can afford it, and my flight leaves from there on Sunday so I’m just going to hang out, eat street food, and see my one sight at a leisurely pace. I probably won’t bother to post again until after I’m back in Harbin on Sunday, at which point I’ll be able to provide some photographs and more cool stats. Video will also be forthcoming, including cute panda video, but that will take longer as I’ll need to get my camera repaired again before I can load the video onto my computer.

MASS TRANSPORTATION STATS:
Planes taken: 1
Buses taken: 13
Trains taken: 1
Cabs taken: 19
Private vehicles taken: 3

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